First in a while

The hole is back, the first in a while
Most likely not the last
The loneliness
Sadness
Surrounded
Feeling entirely alone
Waiting to hear
Pausing my life
Begging to feel that home again
Wondering if you're real
Starting to think I'm a lie
All that attention all for nothing
Can't stop thinking
But starting to fade
That feeling
The memories
Just like with HIM
All that I had with him slowly fades as well
But I didn't think I'd loose you this fast
I keep hoping
Every time the phone rings
I hope it's you
My heart skips a beat thinking of you,
Yet you've disappeared
And taken hope with you
I miss you
I want to know you
Please come back to me
I don't want to abandon hope
Dearie my sweet dearie
I miss you, please help me feel home

The truth through my eyes

Looking through my photos most wouldn't notice the dead eyes that I see...
most will never notice that the spark of life in my eyes is gone...
no one sees the pain lurking behind that perfect smile...
so many lies, so much deceit...
but who really can see behind the mask that I put up...
who really can see me through the pain in my eyes...
behind that pure chocolate the cannot lie....
the hazel mix no longer in sight...
The green all gone...
Will it every return?
Or forever will I be haunted by my non lying eyes?